January 2010
20 posts
Generational
sarahb:
My mom’s nail polishes are all named things like “Tuscan Sun” or “Antique Rose” or “Moonlit Wine,” and mine are all named things like “Anal.”
“The PETA ads purport to say, for example, “treating a nonhuman animal as meat is...”
– Meat and metaphors « Kate Harding’s Shapely Prose (via ilovefat)
YES
“If we lived in Roman times your name would be Stalkeronious Maximus.”
– Alex
A Disservice to Myself
I expect for my life to arrange itself according to what has already happened. I pretend I know things based on what has come before—not as a wise person would, but based on superstitions and superficial commonalities. How to proceed? I have no idea, it turns out.
UGHH
nogreatillusion:
I hate that I can’t have a bad day without getting that annoying Daniel Powter song stuck in my head. I’m on my way home from work, crying a little in the car, looking at my stupid turquoise nail polish that the manager told me I had to remove, and hearing those maddening lyrics in my head.
“You had a bad day…”
OK DANIEL. I GOT IT. THANKS.
I gotta be friends with you.
I've seen both sides of 6 am
countless times for this one.
“bing, bong, sing-along
your name’s al gore cuz your views are wrong”
– has anybody else watched community? i am LOVING it.
This is not a way to start a friendship
Last night I hung out with a girl I sort of know. I’m trying to friend this girl hard. I’m out here, in Seattle, all my friends are leaving and I am looking to expand my social network beyond my mom and my dermatologist.
At some point in the night, she mentioned casually that she had a private staff holiday party the following day (today) and that there would be karaoke and an open...
“I just typed “husband material bar” into yelp.”
– Katie
Was it really me and my life:
clasping my arms around a street vendor’s waste and speeding over a bridge on a scooter at night? Was it me who went crawfish-ing in a tiled pool buzzing with mosquitos and florescent lights? Was it me eating ice with beans on it? Drinking passion fruit zhen zhu nai cha? Was it me who wished to come home? It feels like somebody else.
I'd like to thank Ke$ha's rise in popularity for...
“If one thing leads to another, I’m not gonna tell him to get off.”
– Snookie
“CIF: casual introduction of feces”
– Ian, in reference to Hoarder’s showing poop without warning
All Star
My spin instructor looked at me today and said, “I really liked ‘It’s Complicated.’ Do you know who Steve Martin is?” Everyone looked at me, panting and bobbing up and down, and she explained I might not know on account of my young age. “She’s the youngest here.”
This is fine, except that I was also on the verge of a heart attack. When I walked...
