October 14, 2009

I need to post something

to push that entry down a little bit further, which is not what I’m currently doing in my own life, mentally. I have a little weight on my breast that reminds me discreetly of the pain I’m not supposed to be focusing on but whenever I do I just think about the words “it’s over” in tandem and return to whatever I was doing previously. One thing to focus on is, of course, my life. A. Black and I have jointly resumed our future-planning. I’ve settled on Mexico but it’s hardly certain.

I keep coming back to Europe in the fall. I’ve got to stop doing that. My life is moving under the gravitational pull of school except I’m not in school anymore and I don’t have a job and I don’t have an apartment or a car. Everything lacks weight. I have no idea what I’m doing here. 

My skin is breaking out. My pores are frozen shut. It is so freezing here. 

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